The day when a girl is born in the family, her parents realize one bitter fact that she is a Paraya Dhan (belongs to somebody special). Girls in India are compared to the avatar of Goddess Lakshmi (The Goddess of Wealth), and since girls need to marry and leave their maternal home one day they are considered to be Paraya Dhan. Isn’t that a scary moment, letting go someone you love so much with someone who is mostly unknown. But Vidaai is a moment of truth and all Indian parents face it with a very heavy heart.
As a kid when I understood this Paraya Dhan factor, I always told my parents that I shall not every get married as I can’t live without them. But as I grew up, to be practical I started dreaming of getting married to that special someone. Mostly all girls dream of that special person made just for her, she dreams to get married and spend her entire life with him. But when it comes to Vidaai, it surely brings tears to her eyes. This very word is full of emotions and is bound to make anyone sentimental.
Wedding is a dream come true, it is one of the most cherished moments in the girl’s life. But when this dream actually comes true, it’s for her to bid GOODBYE and leave her house. Certainly, Vidaai is one of the most painful moment for the girl and her family. But this is what our Indian weddings are all about, and the Vidaai ceremony is a mirror of emotions and sentiments. A ritual which marks the end of the Girls life as a daughter and a beginning of her very new role as a wife and as a daughter-in-law.
Origin Of Vidaai Ceremony
The beginning of this ceremony Vidaai took place when brides were given off to princes and kings as a property, as a gift, as a treaty between kingdoms and as something to surrender.
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Vidaai, The Ritual Of Tears
I believe when it comes to Vidaai, it is possibly one of the most sentimental moments in any wedding across the world. The point is bidding Goodbye to loved ones is always difficult. And when it comes to the parents and the bride bidding goodbye to each other that too forever, it becomes a lot more difficult isn’t it? In India, there is a dedicated ritual as Vidaai when the bride leaves her maternal home.
Vidaai is the last ritual to take place post the wedding is completed. Dressed up in beautiful bridal wear, the girl walks out of her maternal home alongside with her husband. As a symbol of repaying back to her parents, the girl throws handful of rice or wheat and some coins back over her head towards her house. This is ritual symbolizes that the girl is repaying to her parents for keeping her at their home for all these years. The girl’s father and brothers stand behind the girl and get these coins and grains as the blessing of Goddess Lakshmi. Post this ritual is done, everyone becomes extremely sentimental many cry many stay quiet and bid goodbye to the girl as she leads to the Palanquin \ Grooms vehicle and leaves for her new home.
Vidaai: A Ritual That Keeps Wealth & Prosperity Intact At The Girls Maternal Home
As girls in India re considered to be the avatar of Goddess Lakshmi who is the deity of prosperity and wealth, this ritual becomes extremely important. When a girl is born, people say “Lakshmi has arrived” so when she has to leave her maternal house, it is considered that Goddess Lakshmi is walking off. Thus performing this ritual become extremely important for the bride to keep wealth and prosperity unharmed at her maternal home. Performing this ritual is one of the most difficult thing to do, it’s like emotions touch the peak and it even becomes a teary scene for all.
When it was Vidaai time for me, my hands were shivering while I was performing all the rituals. I kept on crying all the while, and seeing my parents crying made me even more heart broken. But even in that weepy situation they blessed me for a happy married life. Girls are father’s princess, and when the father hands his little princess in the hands of the groom bidding her good bye is probably one of the touchiest moment in the entire wedding.
While the newlyweds are about to leave another emotional scene that’s takes place is a series of request that the parents make to the groom, they request forgive any mistake his daughter makes and guide her always throughout their journey as a couple and at last take good care of their princess.
Lastly the bride’s brothers and cousins push the car, this is to help her leave her maternal home and begin her new life. Coins are thrown on the car to ward off any evils surrounding it.
Vidaai is an occasion of mixed feelings, while everybody is happy for the new beginning for the bride they are also sad about the fact that she no more belongs to them. The parent’s hearts are overwhelmed with the joy of her marriage and also with the pain of missing her forever. For the girl this moment is full of curiosity as she leaves her parents behind, she is eager as well as excited to know what’s waiting ahead in her new life.
Photo by nicubunu.photo